One step behind…

Selfie-Jonas?

May 19th, 2014 by admin

It’s finally clear that the labour party’s new leader will be L’enfant terribel Jonas Gahr Store. Also known as Super-Jonas.

Lets take a trip down memory lane, to commemorate why he is an excelent choise as Norways future prime minister.

Let’s begin with the end.

And solve some issues while we are at it.

1.

It is well known he tends to be a little wary about his nickname Super-Jonas. His recent Twitter-post could easily give him the nickname Selfie-Jonas?

 Bn-2GBZIEAAGfsa

Its a decent name.

Watch say?

2.

There have been some mumbeling about his genuin left or right-wing sympathies. But can we all now move away from that old political axis-mumbojumbo. At the end of the day, we can all agree he is a social democrat. Which is a notion being in the very core of the labour party ideology.

Proof?

Uten navn01 Uten navn31

Would a right-winger, at the time minister of foreign affairs, atleast to some extent show support for the Occupy Wall Street movement. At the time being in the U.S,  just days before meeting with then secretary of foreign affairs Mrs Hillary Clinton?

I think not.

3.

He is, again at least to some extent, pro more transparency in government. And, as we all know. Transparency in government is the only way. Exemplified by this mellow reaction to the wikileaks “incident”.

For extra info read some reassuring documentation on Støre/Selfie-Jonas stand on freedom on the internet. Norwegian version (click) or English version (click).

Last but not least.

He is a real tough  fearless fellow. Anyone seen him skiing down from Ullevolseter to Sognsvann on an icy winter night can confirm that.

jon960_1204538716

Looks like Norways future the next 2-20ish years will be in the best of hands!

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A night at the Opera with Trine Skei Grande

January 3rd, 2014 by admin

Prolog

Den 29. Desember var jeg så heldig å bli invitert med på Operaen av selveste Venstres partileder Trine Skei Grande.

Rreferanse

En lite spesifisering angående frykten for at hun skulle møte en psyko-maniac-påerson –  (Abraham Lincon ble tross alt drept under lignende omstendigheter), vurderte jeg fortløpende å informere om at jeg faktisk var sikkehetsklarert av PST. Men, selv om det er sant,  høres det jo egentlig bare mer skremmende ut.

Anywho…

Twitringen og avtalen fant sted på min togtur Trondheim – Oslo.

Etter den 7 syv timer lang togturen, måtte jeg først se til katten min som hadde tilbringt julen i et fosterhjem hos min onkel i Gamlebyen!

1174759_10151805269300600_61473132_n

 

On a side note:

Som den Torbjørn Røe Isaksen-fanboy han er, stemte han faktisk Høyre ved fjorårets stortingsvalg, mot sin eiers vilje. (Likevell, det viktigste er tross alt at han bruker stemmeretten sin!)

Anywho, etter å ha matet, vannet og knusekoset katten, løp jeg avgårde mot Operaen.

Jeg var sent ute.

Første pre-opera-akt

Da jeg var og fremdeles til en ganske stor grad er en opera-noob, ble jeg fort oppmerksom på hvor betryggende det var å være der med en opera-ringrev. Trine Skei Grande.

Mitt eneste åpenbare ansvar var å skru av den nye mobilen min slik at den (gud forby) ikke ringte under forestillingen. Igjen kom venstres partileder til redningen, og viste hvordan man skrur av lyden på en random ny mobil.

Likevell…

Da det kun var lyden som var slått av, og ikke hele telefonen, la jeg den fremst under låret mellom setet slik at det ikke skulle.. under noen omstendighet avbryte forestillinbgen. (noe som senere skulle vise seg å ike være en spesielt god ide!)

Første akt

Meg og Trine var ganske “on time”, og det tok ikke mange minuttene fra vi satte oss til forestillingen begynnte.

Vidre fulgte…

<uforståelig joddling>

Hoffmanns_Eventyr_08_2013_Foto_Erik_Berg-400x247

<merkelige kostymer>

Timene (tror jeg) gikk uten at jeg kunne tafse på mobilen min eller twittre..  eller ha noen som helst kontakt med omverdenen forøvrig.

Deretter fulgte, på senen:

<mer uforståelig ting>

<veldig uforståelige ting… huh… WTF?>

<joddling>

Etter en times tid var første akt over.

For alt jeg visste… kunne Norge imellomtiden ha blitt invadert av Nord-Korea, og verden som jeg og vi kjener – og liker den, kunne være være bort.

Første akt var endelig over.

Aldri har jeg vært mer lettet enn idet jeg forstod at det var over.

Jeg, og alle andre reiste seg for å gå ut i foajeen. Jeg ville UT og glemt helt at jeg hadde plassert telefonen min mellom det fremmrelåret mitt og setet.

I det jeg reiste meg hørte jeg et stumpt dunk/klonk. (Heldigvis ikke et skarpt knus/knas)

Jeg innså straks at jeg hadde mistet den helt nye mobilen min. Jeg så etter den, men den var ikke å se. Gikk litt rundt å lette. Svirret rundt å lette etter mobilen min. En av de tingene som IKKE skulle skje.

Heldigvis var jeg ikke alene.

Etter et par minutter klarte den handlekraftige partilederen å lokalisere min telefon. Phu! Derrertter tuslet jeg o Trine Skei Grande fornøyd ut i fojaeaen.

Vi skilte så lag en liten stund, hvor jeg fant en wi-fi spot og stadfestet at verden var den samme som alltid og at Norge ikke var invadert av Nord-Korea! Phu.

 

Andre akt

Andre akt fortonet seg ganske anderledes.

Det var faktisk intressant og underholdende. Kanskje fordi jeg nå hadde blitt vist oversettelsesknappen/displayet som gjorde at man faktisk kunne, til en viss grad forstå hva de jodlet om.

MHkvtkyZ_m_kyvr5fHbFAg8uQ390CsOxX-tH9SQ21Afw

Dessuten, var de mer dramatiske enn meg. Selv på mitt mest dramatiske. Det var oppløftende.

Epilog

Til forskjell fraførste akt, underveis i andre akt, tok jeg meg flere ganger i å tenke: “håper dette aldri slutter!”

Jeg var trygg og jeg var hjemme.

OH THE DRAMA!

Men, da det sluttet, var det likevel OK. Og, jeg gledet meg til å gå hjem for å lese mer om stykket!

Epilog

Allert sist men ikke mins vil jeg takke Trine G. Skande  og skattebetalerene (opera-biletten er i høygrad subsidiert over skattesetdelen!) for en alt i alt unik og enestående kveld.

Jeg er ikke lenger redd for Opera eller den nye regjeringen.

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Endelig på hils med Jonas!:)

July 14th, 2013 by admin

Dette er historien om da jeg endelig fikk hilse på super-Jonas

Det er en Torsdag morgen. Klokken nærmer seg ni.

Jeg har ankommet Røde Kors lokaler og funnet meg en strategisk OK plass for mini-konferansen om frivelig sektor som straks følger.

Jeg er der alene. Legger fort merke til at klientellet er “toptungt”. Alle der gjør som forventet samt oppfører seg som forventet. Som forventet. Ingen tegn til revolusjon.

Greit nok, tenker jeg.

Etter et par minutter er jeg litt usikker på om valg av plass var bra eller ikke. Men, bestemmer meg for å ikke tenke mer over det.

Så like før ni kommer Jonas (som han foretrakk å bli kalt for anledningen) strentende inn, forbi meg, hilser på et par folk på veien, og finner plassen sin.

Han er ikke forsinket? Tenker jeg. Det var merkelig., Han bruker nesten alltid å komme forsent. .

Men, ok.

I dag hadde jeg bestemt meg for å faktisk gå og hilse på han. Det har vært på min “bucket list” de siste par årene. Etter å ha mistet første sjanse til å faktisk hilse på Jonas (Europaseminar 2011), andre sjanse (dialogmøte i UD 2012), skulle jeg ikke la denne sjanse gå ifra meg.

jonas

Den første pausen.

Jeg tenkte. OK, bare gå bort og si “hei, hyggelig å endelig få hilse på deg”. Hvor vanskelig kan det være?

Jeg går med faste skritt mot der hvor han står og snakker med noen andre. Stiller meg nærme, men ikke FOR nærme. Han står med ryggen til. Jeg veksler noen kjappe blikk med mannen han snakker med, for å indikere at det FAKTISK er noen som står bak Jonas som vil snakke med han. Dette initierer en 30 sekunders prosess hvor Jonas sakte men sikkert roterer i min retning. Akkurat i det mulighet for kontakt oppstår, blir jeg overasket av et bakholdsangrep fra to kvinner som åpenbart kjenner han (Jonas Gahr Støre red.anm) fra før (hvis serdeles mange av folka som var der faktisk gjorde). Jeg ble med det lettere irritert over at de faktisk “snek” i køen, og ga dem noe litt sinte blikk i Jonases retning. Etter omtrent 20 sekunder klarte jeg fange oppmerksomheten hans (Jonas Gahr Støres red.amn) ved å forsiktig løfte lanken som et “hei Jonas” signal.

Han hadde ingen anelse om hvem jeg var (formoder jeg), eller at han har snakket med meg via twitter ved ganske mange anledninger. INGEN ANELSE.

Any who…

Jonas tok meg i hånden og sa (kanskje hei?). Uansett, jeg husker ikke. Men, det jeg husker. Han tok meg i hånden.Var litt forvirret (hvem i ALLE DAGER er det her?).

Men, OK.

Jeg viste hvem han var.

Høffelig og prof som forventet. Jeg ståtret frem noe sånt som “hei….ehm… hyggelig å ENDELIG å hilse på deg…!” og.. det var dessverre bare så langte jeg hadde “planlagt” seansen..

Idet jeg står der og holder han i håden blir jeg grepet av panikk og har ingen anelse om hvem jeg skal introdusere meg som. @xOneStepBehind? Min private konto? @aapradet kontoen hvis jeg representere idag? @Occupyoslo hvis han RTet for 1,5 år siden eller @norfowl hvis er den norske wikileaks-kontoen hvis han ikke følger….

Den som har snakket med han om WikiLeaks (@occupyoslo, @norfowl) da han jobbet i UD?

Instinktivt tenker jeg “ABORT MISSION”…. rewind, “ctrl-z, ctrl-z”. Men til min store forskrekkelse fungerer ikke slik i den såkalte virkeligheten. Forfjamset som jeg var, pekte jeg bare mot navnelappen min nevne organisasjonen jeg var der påvegne av i denne sammenhengen. Selv om den er den jeg har hatt minst kontakt med han igjennom. Ikke vet jeg om han skjønte, eller hva som skjedde… men det endte med at jeg klappet han på skuldra.. og han smatt kjapt tilbake til plassen sin.

Jeg gikk så og satte meg på plassen min. Ganske langt bak i lokalet. Jaja… tenkte jeg. Det der var awkward, men jeg fikk iallefall hilst på han. Its something!

Så var det tilbake til møtet.

Bla, bla, bla…

Anywho.

Tre timer senere.

Forsamlingen får beskjed om at Jonas MÅ gå 2 minutter på ett. Klokken 13.00 står han fremdeles på talerstolen.
Noen minutter senere. Etter at talen hans er ferdig…

Han løfter den imponerende skinn-vesken sin, fylt med aviser og viktige dokumenter, og brøyter seg forbi forsamlingen som er på vei ut av konferanserommet. Forbi meg. Jeg, opportunistisk som jeg er, setter opp farten noe, går vedsiden av han noen meter, og like før han løper ifra spøre jeg “Hvor skal du nå da?::)” Og Jonas bare”hæ?” Og jeg bare, “Hvor skal du nå?:)”. Så går det et par sekunder før han sier “Kirkens bymisjon (tror jeg) på grønland (tror jeg)”. Jeg sier “lykke til da:)” idet han løper fra meg. Ut i foajeaen. Der blir han brått stoppet av bekjente som fordrer klemming. Jeg tenker… my job here is done, og konsentrerer meg om å rydde påplass vannglasset mitt som jeg desverre hadde klart å miste en persilledusk oppi. (vil jo ikke lage trøbbel for vaske-folka)

Idet jeg går ut av bygningen, går/løper Jonas forbi ijgen. Jeg lar han selvfølgelig bare løpe. Vil jo ikke virke som en crazy stalker…

Jonas løper ca 5 meter forran meg. Jeg ser han viske livvakten sin inn i den pansrede livvakt-SUVen. Jonas selv løper vidre. Jeg blir stående/luskende bak litt forundret. Kanskje han skal gå/løpe dit?Til bymisjonen? På Grønland? Er jo ikke lange biten?

Pluttselig blir min tankerekke avbrutt av en rusende mottor, fra en pansret SUV retning meg. Full gass. Jeg skvetter til og kaster meg i det nermeste buskasset før SUVen hensysløst raser forbi der jeg akkurat stod. Lenger nede igata, fra min buskas-utsikt, kan jeg se Jonas sette seg inn i en ministerbil, som kjapt kjører avgårde med SUVen hakk i hel.

Jaja.

Det kunne iallefall ikke gått værre!

Epilog

Etter at jeg noen timer senere trygt hadde tatt meg hjem til min residence på Grønland, sendte jeg en melding til min o’store mentor og rådgiver Johan H. Andresen.. hvor jeg forklaret hva som hadde hendt og spurte om JEG hadde gjort noe galt. Var det galt av meg å klappe Jonas Gahr Støre på skuldra? Hvordan fungerer egentlig klapping på skuldra?

Hans svar var som alltid, særdeles forklarende og oppklarende, og jeg siterer…

ferd

End of story.

(Både jeg og Jonas overlevde)

Epilog del II

Jonas Gahr Støre’s respos til blog-posten:

971112_10151726914785600_541174792_n

Epilog del III

Men Jonas… “trist slutt”?  Vi overlevde jo og lever lykkelig ever after begge to.

The end

 

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Idol-Mali

January 16th, 2013 by admin

Mali? Idol?

Well. You will not find any answers here, so move along people. Move along. #lol #hahaha

Posted in Just mentioning | No Comments »

Africa for Norway

November 17th, 2012 by admin

Lots of people are not aware of whats is going on i Norway right now.

Its winter. Its cold.

Frostbites kills too!

 

Posted in No matter what they sell, Im buying it! | 1 Comment »

The duck pond pre 22.07.2011

August 13th, 2012 by admin

It was a slow spring, and a mellow summer the Norwegians were granted in 2011.

In the middle of nothingness, a bird decided to nest in PM Stoltenbergs backyard.

Here, firstly seen in camuflage sandwiched betwen Norwegian PM Jens Stoltenberg and Serbias President Boris Tadic (photo: Statsministerens kontor)

Sweet.

Next was the hatching.

Preformed in orderly manner, before escorted by Jens and his gouvernmental crew safely across the road and into the royal duck-pound.

Truly a happy ending in our happy land of oil and welfare.

As othervise nothing of interest rearly happen, this was a great object of desire for the press, the PM and the people of Norway alike.

The duck settled well into their new habita. Little was left but a memory of an involuntarily national pet and the very real democratic prosses of naming such a splendid creature. Here name was Veranda.

The ducks name was Veranda.

Now, mowing on to the next month; June 2011

By now, a new substitute of exitement was induced to our humble nation, an epic cruice-ship trip marathon set sail. From the far south to the high North. On camera 24/7. The worlds longest live TV production ever. Broadcasted by NRK – the “national (state) TV producer” [Known among other things for their infamous half-time flash mob stunt during th 2010 Eurovison Song Contest mid-game finals click]

Anyhow… one does not settle down with such.

The light viwid months of June was about to leave its mark.

Fortunately, this entire new pet was to be the object of all our desire, relieving the duck of its duties. (more info: click or click)

The cruise-ship sailing the entire Norwegian coastline.. endlessly, and uniting our undivided nation – in front of our very eyes (through the TV-screen).

This was Norway.

Young, old.. everyone.

Watching.

Everyone, just watching as our precious country float by.

We all loved it.

On the down side, as it was a 24/7  live production… leading to citizen of this arctic nationale staying up all night and all day.  Smug, and proudly enjoying our beautiful peaceful country. What a bliss?

All play, no work.

ALL PLAY, NO WOK!

Life was good. Decent.

But not for everyone.

For one guy, June 22. 2011 was, according to his diary, like this:

I reinstalled Windows 7 on my PC hoping that it would solve mynetwork problems. It didn’t work and I figured it had to be the network card or the phone lineitself. I drove to the PC-repair guy in the local town and delivered it. It should be ready bytomorrow. I continued to prepare the chemistry equipment for getting ready to manufacture allDDNP batches. When I was done I completed the last purification batch of the unpurified picric acidand ended up with several liters of PA liquid that had to be chilled. I then drove to the local townand bought three portions of Chinese takeaway. Beef with noodles and fried rice, yummy!. I tookan early night as I didn’t have any PC

At that time nobody knew.

One month later, everything had changed.

On the other side of the equation, prior to 22. July 2011 Norwegian security people had spent ~5 years unsuccesfully trying to block access for cars to park right in front of  Norwaays governmental headquarters.

(This picture by yours truly in 2005)

Though, no one was able to block the street from cars and possible car bombs.

And, no one seemed to really care.

According to quite a few WikiLeaks cables, this situation of desperate neglect of possible terrorist treats was pointed out by US-diplomates. But, nobody would listen.

So, while the US embassy was sealed into a protective nest of fences, private security forces and ID-checks. The entrance of  Norway’s government was practically a public parking-space.

Frankly, the Norwegian government was only protected by this provisional private sign, telling people to not park there

 .

Meanwhile, the world moved on.

Days went by…

The presious flock of Norwegian citizens moved along as expected. Polite, not making any fuzz…  minding their own business.

Except one.

July 09. 2011

Later that day while I was enjoying a meal, the neighbour stopped by. As I had just completed themixing session I still had AL stains in my face and powder in my hair. I tried the best I could to quickly wash it off but my hair still had a silver tone and it looked very weird.
The neighbour askedif he could fertilize my fields and remove some rocks as this would increase the yield of animalfodder by 100% (the current crop). As this meant that he would get several people to work on myproperty for a week’s time I declined telling him that I had plans of my own.Later that day, while I was watching an episode of True Blood, I saw a large van driving by thehouse and parking next to my car. There was at least 4 people inside. Nice, I thought; it’s probablya SWAT team coming to skull-fuck me. The farmer must have tipped them off…
Thank God, it wasonly 4 Polacks looking for worked and I sent them on their way. It would have been tempting tohire them to mix my ANALFO…<3, hadn’t it been for the fact that they would have understoodwhat was up:-)

Meanwhile, Norway was prepping for their annual 5 week summer vacation shutdown.

Soon, everyone would be out on a 5 week holiday.

Except for one.

July 11th 2011

I reserved a rental car today, from AVIS, the same company I’m already renting my primary carfrom. There was not enough credit on the card for a deposit so I had to go to the northern townand transfer 2000 euro to it.Considering the fact that I am currently working on the most dreadful task, I bought a lot of exquisite food and candy today.
I really need to recharge my batteries and increase my moralebefore initiating the ANALFO mixing. Good food and candy is a central aspect of my reward systemwhich keeps me going.
It has proven efficient so far. Occasionally, if I’m really not keen on doing aspecific sub task, I take a red bull, a shake of noXplode or an ECA stack – to get a jump startbefore jumping into something I’m not looking forward to – f example extremely lame or labourintensive tasks or tasks involving great risk of injury or death.
Nothing much more of significant happened, until
15:25:22 – July 22th 2011
And, this was only the beginning.

 

Posted in Politics | 3 Comments »

Asylum in Norway for Julian Assange?

July 8th, 2012 by admin

Lets review the possibilities of granting WikiLeaks founder  Julian Assange asylum in Norway.

The land where police carry roses instead of guns. (true story)

Applying for asylum in Norway

Norwegian law and international agreements determine whether you will be allowed to stay in Norway. This chapter explains what happens when you apply for asylum.

All those who need protection in Norway shall receive it. That is why the UDI gives every application for asylum careful consideration. This is what is called the asylum process. It is intended to ensure that all those who really need protection are allowed to stay, while those who do not need protection must leave Norway.

The asylum process

The UDI considers each application individually to make sure that everyone is treated fairly. Your application will be treated in the same way and in accordance with the same laws regardless of who you are. When you apply for asylum in Norway, you are asking the Norwegian state to protect you. The Norwegian state can say yes or no to your application. Many asylum seekers have their applications rejected and must return home. The UDI interviews each applicant and uses the results from this interview along with other information to decide whether you qualify for asylum. The UDI also has a great deal of knowledge about the conditions in your home country.

The formalities

“If you are persecuted or in danger in your home country, you can apply for protection (asylum) in Norway. You addressed to you personally to the police in Norway to seek protection here”

When you apply for asylum in Norway, you are asking the Norwegian state to protect you. The Norwegian state can say yes or no to your application

What is protection (asylum)?
You are entitled to protection if you are in danger of
being killed, tortured or exposed to other forms of
grave abuse if you return to your country of origin.
If the authorities in your native country are able to
protect you, or there are areas in that country where
you are safe, you are normally not entitled to
protection in Norway.
The UDI will also consider whether you may be
granted asylum on humanitarian grounds.” (click)

If you are persecuted or in danger in your home country, you can apply for protection (asylum) in Norway.

You apply for protection in Norway in person with the Norwegian police.

Norwegian law and international agreements determine whether you will be allowed to stay in Norway. This chapter explains what happens when you apply for asylum. (click)

Protection

You may still be granted a residence permit in Norway even if the degree of persecution you experienced was not enough to qualify you for political asylum. This could be because there is a war going on in your homeland or because you risk being subjected to inhuman treatment. If your application for asylum is rejected, the UDI will always look at whether you may still be allowed to stay in Norway.

The Immigration Act

Sources of law

Chapter 4 Protection

Sources of law

§ 28 Residence permits for foreigners in need of protection (asylum)

Sources of law

An alien in this country or on the Norwegian border, shall, upon application, be recognized as a refugee if the foreign national

Sources of law

a) has a well-founded fear of persecution because of race, religion, nationality, membership in a particular social group or political opinion and is unable, or owing to such fear is unwilling to avail himself their home country’s protection, see the Refugee Convention 28 July 1951 Article 1 A and Protocol 31 January 1967, or

Sources of law

b) without falling under a letter still stands in danger of being subjected to capital punishment, torture or other inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment upon return to their home country.

§ 29 More on the persecution under § 28, first paragraph, a

For that actions shall be deemed to constitute persecution under § 28 first paragraph, they must either

(bla,bla,bla)

Pursuing can be
a) State

e) Political opinion shall in particular be deemed to include beliefs about the appropriate pursuers or their policies or methods, whether the applicant has acted in accordance with this opinion.

In assessing whether there is a well-founded fear of persecution, it is immaterial whether the applicant has the characteristics or the perception that leads to persecution, see § 28 first paragraph, provided that the persecutor believes the applicant has characterized or perception.

(so many words…)

Tho the key to a successful asylum proses migh involve our enfan terrible Minister of Foreign affairas Mr. Jonas Gahr Store.

Especially if you are wanted by the US of A!

Other general information regarding living in Norway can be found her at the Norwegian embassy

Lets not forget Norway’s excellent track-record as a reconciliatior… illustrated with a really old photo. (No, its not instagram)

And the silver lining. (internal link)

Best of luck!

Posted in Counterculture | No Comments »

Moods of Norway wins the retailer award

May 3rd, 2012 by admin

Moods of Norway is BACK! (Not that they ever whent away)

Most recently, winning the “Retailer of the year 2011″ award.

Anyhow…

Precious.

Posted in Norwegian designers | No Comments »

Cheat sheets for NYPD

May 2nd, 2012 by admin

Lets have a look at how the police shall behave.

1]

2]

3]

Use it.

Posted in Counterculture, Just mentioning | No Comments »

Barn av Regnbuen-tog

April 25th, 2012 by admin

Da capo!

Time has come to gather again. For singalongs.

This time – the tune is “Barn av Regnbuen” by Lillebjørn Nilsen.

Due to Breivik communist-song bashing it in court.

Personally, I would go fore a more descriptive tune, such as “Vårherres klinkelule” by Erik Bye

Much descriptive of 22. July.

To each their own.

Posted in Just mentioning | No Comments »

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